E.T. Admits Shock At Not Even Being Called For Cameo In 'Disclosure Day'

Published: June 15, 2026

LOS ANGELES—Saying a courtesy call would have been nice even if nothing ever came of it, E.T. told reporters Monday he was shocked at not being contacted by director Steven Spielberg for a cameo in his new sci-fi movie Disclosure Day. “I knew I wasn’t going to be the lead, which was totally fine, but are you telling me that after more than 40 years of friendship, he can’t pick up the phone and say he’d love to throw a few lines my way?” said the extraterrestrial, adding that it was him and his “glowing fucking fingertip” that gave Spielberg one of the top-earning movies of all time.

“I mean, who’s in the logo of his production company? Not Gizmo, that’s for goddamn sure. But somehow I don’t get a single feeler from Mr. Nicest Guy In Hollywood even though I said on Reddit not two years ago that I was eager to get back into acting now that I’ve put my personal demons behind me. Well, guess what, Stevie? You had your chance, buddy boy. When George Lucas calls, you’d better believe I’ll be picking up.” When reached for comment, Spielberg simply stated that he and E.T. had not spoken in many years, but that he wished him all the best.

https://theonion.com/e-t-admits-shock-at-not-even-being-called-for-cameo-in-disclosure-day/