I absolutely love this "modern world"

I probably should not post this very lolng personal rant on DU, but I’m at the point that I have to rant for my mental health.

Monday morning 9:30 Ms, Average Old Guy called me from bed, vomiting, choking. Got her airway cleared, managed to walk her to bathroom. She did not know were she was, what was going on, her own name. Called 911, go to ER. Raging UTI and pneumonia. Admitted. From Manday afternoon until Thursday morning multiple IVs of two high-powered antibiotics. Back home late Thursday afternoon, she was weak but in fairly good spirits. Ate a bit Friday, weak, but almost her usual self.

So far, so good.

Then came Saturday. We have tv, phone, and internet through a provider whose name I will not mention but begins with an X. My bill came in through email. Normal bill is around $180 per month. This month was $519.24. No luck calling “customer service” – all AI, no real people.

Started at 11:30 AM

Left her at home, drove 20 minutes to local X store. Kid there listened to me, told me they would have to cancel my account and start all over; go back home and bring in my modem. So I drove back home, 20 minutes – disconnected modem – leaving her with no tv, phone, or ‘net. As I was headed out the door she asked: “Did you have your pistol with you?” “No.” “Good. Leave it right here.”

Back at the store. Three “customer service reps” put their heads together for 45 minutes. Gave back my modem, told me to go back home, hook it up, and call this number (wrote the number on a scrap of paper).

Back home. Not exactly happy. Hooked up the modem, all my service came up.

Called the number, damn if I didn’t get a real person, speaking unaccented English on the 3rd ring. Explained the matter, asked why the $250 increase in my bill. Put me on hold.

Came back quickly. Told me to look at my printed bill and he walked me through it. On the bill was ‘net, tv, phone . . . and a section of “additional premium services.” Turns out that about 90 days ago, we wanted to watch something on one of the tv apps, got a message that said this would cost $5.99 so we checked OK. We did not read the very fine print that this action would sign us up for introductory service and pricing on ELEVEN streaming services, all of which would revert to full price in 90 days. That was the reason for the huge increase in my bill.

Told him to remove all that crap from my service, which he did. Walked me through every service, took it off one by one.

Oh, but wait. When you do something like that over the phone, they must have a legally-binding way to show what you ordered. I listened to a 3-minute AI voice reading to me the changes in my account and telling me to push 1 to agree. I tapped 1. And waited. And waited. The rep came back on and told me to tap 1. “I already did that.” “Oh.”

We repeated that farce FOUR TIMES.

Okay, he said, I’ll send you an email with a link to validate the changes. I got the email, clicked on the link, my browser said “You do not have authorization for this site.” Tried on my desktop, my laptop, my iPad, my daughter’s laptop. Same thing.

Tried that four times.

Finally the rep said “I will put you on a recording, at the end you will be asked to say ‘Yes.” It worked.

AND THEN – as I was trying to get off the phone, GODDAM IF HE DIDN’T TRY TO SELL ME SOME MORE SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ended at 5:00 pm – 5-1/2 hours.

The only good news is that a few minutes ago I pulled up my account and, sure enough, all that extra crap was gone, my bill is back to normal, and my service is good. Bad news is I have only half-a-liter of Jack Daniels and half gallon of Tillamock Mud Slide ice cream to get me calmed down.