Trump Posts Late-Night Truth Social Rant Claiming Circuses Not Violent Enough

WASHINGTON—Alleging that the shows had grown shamefully timid and unexciting to watch in recent years, a furious President Donald Trump posted a lengthy Truth Social rant late last night in which he claimed circuses were not violent enough. “When I was a kid, a lot more people and animals got hurt, but not anymore—total disgrace!” wrote Trump, who went on to demand that elephants be visibly electrocuted by handlers, that acrobats fall to their deaths from being unable to grip heavily greased trapeze bars, and that at least one clown per performance fully bleed out on the sawdust floor. “I want to see people stick their heads in lions’ mouths again, but it should be an untrained juggler who quickly gets decapitated! And NO MORE NETS for the human cannonball! Sorry! From now on, the cannon should be pointed directly into the crowd wherever the casualty risk to audience members is highest. If these things are done, and if the ringmaster cuts his own throat, then the circus will once again be a tremendous success! DJT.” In a subsequent post, the president said he had just discussed his concerns with Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus, which pledged to report back to him in two weeks with plans for introducing more carnage into its productions.

https://theonion.com/trump-posts-late-night-truth-social-rant-claiming-circuses-not-violent-enough/

The clowns could go into the audience and beat the shit out of him if that's what he likes.