Spurious News: MAGA claims "except for the blasphemy Trump is still the greatest president ever"

DALTON, GA (Spurious News Network) -- It may be the Carpet Capital of the World, but in this small, tight-knit Georgia city there's no more important floor to many than the one in their Christian church.

The second-most important? The one in Whitfield County Republican Party headquarters. The county Dalton sits in is heavily Republican, with King Donald Trump earning about 72 percent of the county's vote in 2024.

They don't like him anymore.

"I gotta tell you, President Trump is a great president. He's cut taxes, cut more taxes, tore down that awful Michelle Obama's office in the White House, and started many great and patriotic wars," said Marty Johnson, who works at a massive Mohawk Industries carpet mill. "But then he decided to put a picture of himself dressed up as Jesus online. Now I can't stand him."

"I hate Donald Trump and that's not something I thought I'd ever say," said Ellen Francis, a shift supervisor at a Shaw Industries carpet mill. "He's the greatest president our nation's ever had, but he's also a blasphemer. And this ain't something I can dismiss with a simple 'bless your heart.' If he thinks he's Jesus he has no heart, and the Devil will have him as soon as he's died."

Joe Hart, a chemist at BASF's Carpeting Technical Service Center who also works as a Baptist minister, agrees with Mr. Johnson and Ms. Francis. "Hell is no joke and Trump just consigned himself to the lake of fire. Christians are some of the most loyal supporters he ever had. Why would he turn his back on us?"

Father Refugio Oñate Melendez, who leads Dalton's St. Joseph's Catholic Church, believes he understands why Trump posted this picture. "Trump seems to have decided to start a third war, this time against Pope Leo. Leo is a fine Pope, but he isn't a radical right wing politician and isn't supposed to be - and Trump hates it. Why Trump wants to turn the pope into something he shouldn't be, I don't know."

Jackie Harling, Chair of Georgia's 14th District GOP Executive Committee and chair of the Walker County Republican Party, notes that Trump's Jesus picture has caused problems for her organization. "People have been dropping out of the party quickly since the photo was posted," Ms. Harling said. "Most of them have said, 'you do something about him or we'll do something about you.' Unfortunately, none of us have the power to remove him from office. We did, however, send a copy of our withdrawals to the White House with a note attached that said, 'Mr. President, look what that damn Jesus picture caused!'"