Kash Patel Faces Backlash After Partying With Nancy Guthrie's Captors (Satire)

Published: February 26, 2026

WASHINGTON—As shocking footage surfaced of his participation in the rowdy celebration, FBI director Kash Patel faced backlash Thursday after he was seen partying with the captors of Nancy Guthrie. “I was honored to have been invited to the isolated cabin where Savannah Guthrie’s mother has been strapped to a cot for almost a month,” said Patel, who acknowledged drenching a group of rifle-toting masked individuals in champagne but insisted he was already on government business deep within the Sonoran Desert and thus had not misused the FBI’s private jet.

“Instead of focusing on me throwing a shaka sign while I posed with the gun that was used to force Nancy Guthrie from her home, maybe focus on the hard work of these dedicated men who have evaded capture for weeks. If I’m sorry for anything, it’s for drawing attention away from what these guys have accomplished.” Patel went on to say he hoped he’d get the chance to celebrate with Guthrie’s captors again if she was still being held hostage four years from now.

https://theonion.com/kash-patel-faces-backlash-after-partying-with-nancy-guthries-captors/