with addiction. A beloved grandson attacked a 78 year old grandmother in our family while in the throes of addiction. Denied it later. So horribly common in our society. My heart breaks for the Reiner family.

from the addict for money for drugs. often the parents will have washed their hands of the drug addicted son and he's living with grandma... not a good situation for a vulnerable older woman to have a 20 - 30 desperate male living in her home.

his concern for his safety due to his son and wanted some advice about what he could do.

We just dont know what people are living with

All of the Reiner fame and money did not help them in the end.

Such a tough situation.

my son had some drinking problems and psychological issues and would get really crazy at times, where he seemed almost possessed, but thankfully never violent with us. Thankfully he's in recovery and doing much better now.

dying to have a child. After years of trying, they succeeded. The last I heard, the kid was in is 30's and punching them because he wasn't given money. They moved to Florida so I don't know how things worked out.


Second family, same house. Two sons. The boys, unlike "poor me," had new bikes, baseball gloves, and on and on. The family moved to a ritzier part of town and years later, I saw the father. "How are X and X?"

"I raised two bastards." That was his reply.

I thought about this because their mother's obit was in Sunday's paper. She died at age 101. -- All the wonderful tributes to her but I doubt they appreciated those qualities in her when she was alive.


And we wonder. Are these problem kids due to genetics or upbringing?

We are doused in man-made chemicals that were not present in the environments humans evolved in and many of us do not eat nutritious foods.

why is it almost always a man?

Of course I'm not saying it's always the case, but we need to look more closely at the mass shootings which are almost always perpetrated by men. The MAGA movement, the militias, domestic violence against women.... Something is clearly wrong with our country and I'm not sure it's genetic. Are fathers to blame for not being more involved in their sons' lives? Is toxic masculinity defined by our culture? I certainly don't have all the answers, if any.

I know a family in which the dangerously violent outbursts come from a daughter. She's definitely got emotional problems, and she has a history of drug abuse.

No matter how drug addicted or violent.

Society teaches them to be more passive, though. They will rage and punish others through neglect and oppositional defiance. Less likely to physically hurt or kill, more likely to steal .

higher testosterone levels, less circuits to control of anger, more variability.

The center of judgement, reasoning, etc.

Men are destroying the planet and the people on it.

Men are destroying the planet and the people on it.

We take it for granted and make excuses for men.
If women were doing all of the killings and rapes they would be put into camps.

Of how much they seem to treat them as infants, waiting on them hand and foot their entire growing up years and Beyond it's weird just really weird. I have seen it so often and wondered about the effect.

This is not criticism of your post. I'm just trying to understand it because I've never seen that much of it and maybe that is generational. I'm leading edge boomer of WWII parents and my mother didn't wait on any of us hand and foot, and there were 4 girls and 3 boys. I have seen it more when I worked at a university and the mothers would come to school with their kids to enroll them in classes or look into student aid. This was the generation starting college around 2018-2019 - don't know what that generation is called. That's when the term "helicopter parent" emerged.

My son would get a real laugh out of your post about mothers who waited on their sons hand and foot their entire growing up years. As a mother I expected both my son and my daughter to do whatever they were capable of doing for themselves. My son was born fiercely independent and has been his entire life. My daughter was always independent also but I think she sometimes resented me for my values, especially in her teen years. My son was always grateful that I instilled independence in him. My mother died when I was a teenager and my father was pretty useless, so I had a lot of responsibility. I used to wonder how I would have survived and thrived if I wouldn't have been taught how to be independent and resourceful. I took that thought into my parenting years making sure that if I died they would have the skills to navigate life. After all, the number one job of parents is to give their child the skills they need to become healthy and functional adults.

It was me trying to understand your experiences.

The son eventually lived on the street and wrote about his journey. This is a sad story that has gone on for years.

The son, probably also gone.

About the other family. The "bastards" were listed as survivors. I don't know of violence there. Just a disappointed parent about how his kids turned out,

members, after a doctor's counsel and reading, it came down to separation. "I love you, but..." you do no favors supporting them. It is horrible, like cutting off your own arm. My addicted husband was on the street and murdered. My daughter took years but works, supporting herself, and more like the fun girl she was before...but I still fear having her stay in my house.

marriage. When she was "high" she was great -- funny and a true pleasure to be around. But when she got into situations away from her drugs and I guess they had worn off, she turned into a monster. She invariably called me for drug money and when I denied giving it to her, she called me every name in the book. Her last call was in the early 2000s. Haven't heard from her since.

Addiction is a horrible illness.

I know of such families, where all the siblings are fine -- except for one, who terrorizes everyone else. Addiction is usually involved, but sometimes it's just sheer sociopathy. A combination of genetics, unknown trauma, or toxins?

to be institutionalized. If they are violent, it is not fair to ask their families to risk their lives.

Lot's of chances to do it since and we didn't.

I know someone who was murdered by her only child a few years ago. Horrific. I still can barely stand to think of it without tearing up.

someone needs to report elder abuse.

my friend asks for help, and he won't. Either due to fear, embarrassment, or shame.

different for every state. In my state an individual outside the situation, like a friend, can report it, but I think you have to have some evidence. Of course a doctor or social worker are mandatory reporters. Don’t know about ministers/clergy.

parents with substantial resources threatening to pull resources from son equals danger???