Spurious News: "Princess Bride" fans challenge Trump to a battle of wits!

PALM BEACH, FLA (Spurious News Network) -- On December 14, 2025, beloved film director Rob Reiner and his wife Michele Singer Reiner were found stabbed to death in their Los Angeles-area home. Their son Nick Reiner is currently in police custody on suspicion of committing the crime.

On December 15, King Donald Trump made an insane post to his bargain-basement Twitter account claiming Reiner deserved it for not loving Trump enough.

Shortly thereafter, fans of one of Mr. Reiner's most beloved movies, The Princess Bride, flooded the Internet with their disgust at Trump.

"Where's some iocaine powder when you need it?" asked Reddit user RobReinerForever. Iocaine powder was a fictional, undetectable and lethal poison used as a plot point in The Princess Bride.
"I'd challenge Trump to a battle of wits," sent user Westley'sMyMan, "but not even Dread Pirate Roberts would fight a man who didn't have any."
"What the fuck man?" sent user ItWasn'tRob'sFault. "What are you doing, sending out your buddies to whack people who disagree with you?"
User IHaveHadIt, whose father, an American citizen who looked too Hispanic for Trump's taste, died shortly after being deported by ICE in October, sent "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. I'd finish the quote but I don't wanna die after being deported, or to be deported at all."

In further news, actor Christopher Guest, who played addled guitarist Nigel Tufnel in another Reiner favorite, the movie "This is Spinal Tap," announced that King Donald attempted to hire Spinal Tap to perform at Washington's Lincoln Center but was turned down by the band. "We don't feel any drummer should risk his or her life trying to make Trump happy, and we go through drummers like Trump goes through Big Macs."