WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After decades of anticipation, on Monday congressional Republicans finally unveiled their healthcare plan, urging all Americans who seek coverage to move to Canada.

“Under this plan, the American people will gain full access to the doctors, hospitals, and medications they deserve,” House Speaker Mike Johnson declared. “They just need to wear lots of layers.”

The proposal drew widespread support from Americans, a majority asserting that they had already considered implementing such a plan since January of this year.

But it sparked a strong pushback from Canadians, who called on Prime Minister Mark Carney to build a wall.