Yesterday, before Donald Trump went on a dictator bender issuing new travel bans and HEREBY ORDERING Harvard to stop admitting foreign students or faculty, and before he ordered an investigation into Joe Biden and his aides for whatever fucking dementia senile brainworms conspiracy theories were swirling around the bowl of his golden toilet right at that minute — President Bitchass is flailing, and if you don’t see that, you are not qualified to cover this stupid dictatorship — Trump had a lovechat with his hero and master, Vladimir Putin.

Awwwwww.

He was just so excited to run into the arms of his man and comfort him over the loss of all those planes Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy just hilariously fucking blew to smithereens to the delight of the entire free world. Pooooooor Putin. They talked for a whole entire hour and 15 minutes.

And presumably the second Trump got off that call, maybe before he even pulled his pants up, he rushed to Truth Social to tell us all about it.



Lordt.

Let’s break that shit down, below the subscription box!

. . .